Why attempting to suppress Emotions Won’t Work for You
In a fast-paced, modern world, the desire to rid ourselves of unwanted emotions is more prevalent than ever. We often view feelings such as anger, sadness, or fear as nuisances to be eradicated, labelling them as negative emotions. However, this approach is not only ineffective but also counterproductive. It’s not about eliminating emotions but learning to deal with them in healthy and constructive ways. There are no unhealthy emotions, rather we express them in healthy or unhealthy ways.
The Nature of Emotions
Emotions are intrinsic to the human experience. They are signals from our inner selves, providing valuable information about our needs, desires, and boundaries. Trying to suppress or ignore these signals is akin to turning off a smoke alarm to avoid being woken up in the event of a fire. Over time, this can lead to increased stress reactions, mental health issues, and physical ailments.
The Pitfall of Suppression
Suppressing emotions might seem like a quick fix, but it leads to bigger problems down the line. When we push our feelings away, they don’t disappear; they linger beneath the surface, influencing our behaviour and decisions in ways we may not even realise. Repressed emotions can manifest as chronic stress, anxiety, or depression. It is essential to confront and process them healthily and you can learn how to do this.
Embracing Emotional Assertiveness
The Emotional Assertiveness model encourages embracing our emotions rather than fighting them. This model is built on the premise that all emotions, even the ones we deem unpleasant, have a role to play in our lives. By acknowledging and understanding our feelings, we can respond to them assertively rather than reactively.
Strategies for Healthy Emotional Processing
- Acknowledgment: The first step in dealing with emotions is acknowledging their existence. This involves recognising and naming the emotion without judgment. For instance, instead of saying, “I shouldn’t feel angry,” say, “I feel angry.” Having done this we next need to determine why we feel this way, and what we want/need.
- Expression: Find healthy ways to express your emotions. Talk to the important person who emotion is about and share it with them in non-judgmental, non-aggressive ways. If this is not possible at the time, write a journal, with the resolve that you will talk about it as soon as is possible. In this case engaging in energy burning activities, squash, swimming, aerobic exercises etc. can help manage the emotional charge, especially anger. creative activities like painting or music. Expression helps rmanage the emotional charge and gain perspective.
- Understanding: Delve into the underlying causes of your emotions. Ask yourself what triggered the feeling and what unmet need it might be highlighting. Understanding the root cause can guide you toward addressing the core issue rather than just the symptom.
- Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Emotions are a natural part of being human, and it’s okay to feel them. Practicing self-compassion can help reduce the intensity of negative emotions and foster a more balanced emotional state.
- Healthy Boundaries: Establish boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. This includes saying no when necessary and distancing yourself from toxic environments or relationships that involve regular exchanges of negative patterns of expressing emotions.
Conclusion
Suppressing emotions isn’t the solution; learning to navigate them is. By adopting the principles of The Emotional Assertiveness Model, we can transform our relationship with our emotions. This approach not only enhances our emotional intelligence but also leads to a more fulfilling and balanced life. Remember, emotions are not the enemy; they are valuable allies on our journey to self-discovery, wellbeing, and growth.