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Guilt and shame: clearing the path to authentic emotions
Many people speak of guilt and shame as if they were emotions. We say, “I feel guilty” or “I feel ashamed” as though they were part of our emotional landscape, like sadness, joy, or anger. But in fact, guilt and shame are not emotions at all. They are cognitive...
Is Philautia the missing piece in modern wellbeing?
In a modern world increasingly focused on external validation, the concept of self-love has become clouded by contradictions. Some equate it with selfishness, others with indulgence. But in truth, self-love, or Philautia, as the Ancient Greeks called it, is neither of...
From Drama to Compassion: The Drama Triangle through the eyes of Emotional Assertiveness
You’ve probably heard someone say, “Oh, it was such a drama!” It’s a word that gets tossed around easily, but when we dig a little deeper, we often find a very old and familiar script running behind the scenes—one that keeps us emotionally stuck in unhelpful patterns;...
The Role of Boundaries in Effective Leadership
As a child, I recall my grandmother saying, “Good fences make good neighbours.” Back then I had no idea what she was talking about. When I became a therapist I finally understood, interpersonal boundaries are essential to having healthy relationships. Respect for self...
Unmasking Our Emotional Landscape: Authentic vs. Cover-up Emotions
Emotions are the invisible lens through which we interpret the world around us. They are our first line of response to environmental changes, occurring even before our conscious mind has a chance to process what's happening. Yet, not all emotions are created equal,...
A Path to Peace in Politically Tense Times
In an era where political discourse often seems like a tinderbox ready to ignite at the slightest spark, the importance of Emotional Assertiveness cannot be overstated. My name is John Parr, MSc, the author of "Fore-play, Fair-play and Foul-play," and throughout my...
The Power of Authentic Anger
You might be surprised to hear this, but authentic anger is a healthy feeling. In fact, unless it is expressed authentically—meaning in a way that seeks a win-win resolution—we cannot truly be happy. Healthy relationships require the ability to express anger...
Coaching with Emotional Assertiveness™
The Institute of Coaching Studies defines coaching, - coaching is a collaborative process supported by the coach who creates a safe space for exploration; and led by the client who shares what is of importance to them to create positive, sustainable change. ...
Why Emotional Intelligence in HR Leadership Matters
Why Emotional Intelligence in HR Leadership Matters In the complexity of today’s workplace, HR leaders hold a pivotal role, influencing not only the business's success but also the culture and wellbeing of its people. Yet, when emotional intelligence (EQ) is lacking...
Adopting the role of Victim: The Blame Game in Relationships
Adopting the role of Victim: The Blame Game in Relationships 🎭 Shifting blame and assuming the role of the victim might seem like a way to protect ourselves, however it often invites resentment leading to creating distance in relationships. It sends the message: ...
